Monday, April 18, 2011

It was the Worst of Times, it was the Best of Times....

"WRONG";  definition - bad; wonky; BIG mistake; erroneous; boo-boo; uh-oh; aw sh**; bigsigh.  And periodically you hear tell of something...something - that embodies all of those definitions, a tangible, physical, really-o truly-o thing that is the "wrong-ness".  This thing is not something I ever would have thought of, conceived of, no matter how hard I tried.  No, this thing was mentioned to me blithely on the telephone by my Lovely Daughter.  We were talking about programs on teevee;  we share an enjoyment of food shows, cooking shows.  We share a real taste (no pun intended...snerk) for the whole eating thing  So what was this mentioned item?

DISCLAIMER:  if you're not sitting down, do so -- if you have a dicey ticker, if you're prone to the vapours, go look at the pictures on Cute Overload for a few minutes....  Here goes:

Bacon-Wrapped MATZOH BALLS.

I am allowing you a few minutes to roll that around amongst your marbles.  See what I mean?  "That's just WRONG".  And you know, some things that appear wrong actually, surprisingly, wind up being quite nice.  THIS?    uh-huhn.  It ain't happenin'.

That's the worst...."evar".  Other bad stuff?  A new "reality" show about a woman who makes a hefty living as some sort of maternity counselor.  Rents herself out to pregnant, hugely-wealthy New York pregnant mothers.  One woman hired her to assemble a group of "talents"? to select a name for her baby.   The trailer showed a woman who was lining up the hair and makeup staff for when she comes out of Delivery.  SAY WOT????

That's enough of the negative.  Now for the  BEST!  The Decorah Eagle.  NOTE:  my link thingies might not be working.  If they aren't, PUNT.  You won't be sorry. 

Prepare for rant. 

This whole innerwebs thingie, the 'Net, sometimes simply called "on line".  As an entity it strikes me as the perfect "Little Girl with the Little Curl", quoted to me so often in my early childhood.  For those of you who are either   a) well-behaved little girls;  or) boys, naughty or nice, I repeat the wholeof the verse here.  Imagine it in a sort of sing-song-y voice:

"Once there was a little girl / who had a little curl / right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good she was very, very good - and she was bad, she was horrid!"  I am edified to know that I was NEVER just naughty or cross as a wee girlie - I was HORRID!

Back to the internet at hand.   We all know about the Potential Evils of the Internet;  frankly, I'm just as glad that my children grew up and moved out BEFORE the Day of the Insidious Pervasive SCREEN.  On the other hand, I believe (as I may have said before) that I think World Peace can be achieved through the Internet.  Sample conversation in home somewhere in world, April 18, 2020: 

Husband:  "pack my Fierce Weaponry, Wife, I'm going off to war.
Wife:  "where?"
Husband:  "why?"
Wife:  ""do you always answer questions with another question?"
Husband:  "do I?"

{period of quiet follows as each Ponders}

Husband:  "we're fighting with the country of EastNorth Wherewickton.  South."
Wife:  NO YOU ARE NOT!!  (she turns away from her laptop and points both eyes and a grim mouth in his direction.)  He sags a little (going off to war has been popular for some centuries.  Eons, even.)

Wife continues:  "As a matter of fact, Mr. Smartypants Warrior, I am FB friends with 300 women in EastNorth Wherewickton, South AND North.  We all chat every day,  we are trading Nifty Hints about Child-Rearing and there's an active game of "Does your husband ever........??"   Furthermore, we just started a Recipe Exchange, and if you think I'm going to let you and the guys go attacking and breaking the recipe chain YOU HAVE ANOTHER THINK COMING, MISTER!"

See?  End of war.  It's in the future.  In the meantime, however, there are other opportunities which are now commonplace, but which (another of my pet sayings) wasn't even in science fiction books when I was a girl.  Limitless free knitting patterns.  INSTANT information on almost anything that might pique the curiosity.  Pictures and films from everywhere, of everything -- including the aforementoned  Iowa Eagle cam .  Me?  I relish the opportunity to sit at the edge of the nest and watch at all hours of the day and night.    I've watched for a part of every day since first seeing the eagles on my evening news show.

So on the one hand, somewhere in this world there are bacon-wrapped matzoh balls {pfeh! ptooey!} and elsewhere in the world is the ability to sit 80 feet up in an eyrie and watch the unimposing eaglets as they grow into birds like their parents.  Not something one has access to every day.

I am pleased to observe that I seem to be crawling out from the Blarg - although I do find I have to sort of build back up.  So far so good, the medication is controlling the tremors.  I'm scheduled to seee the neurologist again next week (I'm thinking I should keep scheduing regular appointments on the off-chance I may someday need a neorologist again -- she's something like the Great and Wonderful Oz).

So hopefully I will soon be completely returned to knitting and bloggng and working --  and I have some very exciting plans coming up that are pretty assured of being a Genuine Experience!

So - I'm going to watch the end of my teevee show with the madman who calls himself "an extreme fisherman" to see if he's going to have his legs ripped off by a gargantuan fish with two-foot teeth and a cranky disposition.  All's I can say is, "better him than me."

9 comments:

Guinifer said...

I, also, was a horrid little girl. A.a. Milne also wrote a charming bit about halfway down the stairs where I always sat....

Sarah said...

This post has me laughing so hard. I'm SO glad you're back!!
-sarahmeowmeow

Marjorie said...

ROFL-- that's the show I love to hate. They're waaaay overplaying it, so perhaps it'll outlive itself real soon now.

See you manana!(not adding tilde because your computer won't parse it from mine, prolly)

Anne said...

The only thing worse than bacon-wrapped matzo balls is HAM and CHEESE on matzo. JUST WRONG! End of rant. Happy Passover to you and yours!

I made matzo ball soup tonight, and my family loved it!

Randi said...

If I didn't spend too much time on the internet I wouldn't have 'met' YOU, a woman so similar yet very different from me. I enjoy your posts very much. One of our similarities...I often heard that horrid little girl ditty recited to me, also.

Commenting on tv, I don't have one. Not even one. Yes, we've seen a few programs from Netflix and on other people's sets but I really feel much better for not having to watch it. How would I have time for knitting, reading blogs, watching movies?

I've seen the Decorah eagles (sounds like a sports team) but my favorite bird cam is 'way over in Scotland. We've followed the Loch Garten ospreys for several years. So exciting! Also once in a while I check in with the Boise, Idaho peregrine falcons. They all sound like sports teams! But much more interesting to follow IMHO.

kmkat said...

Thanks for the eagle webcam link!

There was a semi-major fish kill in our lake over the winter -- apparently the snow on the ice was too deep, the aerator system couldn't keep enough oxygen in the water -- and quite a number of fish died and floated to the surface in the open water around the aerator. In consequence two adult bald eagles, two or three immature ones, plus a possible osprey, have been hanging around for over a month, gorging themselves on the fish. It has been great fun watching them swoop over the lake, perch in the oak tree by our dock, and just hang out.

I told you all that so I could tell you that I sent the link to my husband, who pointed the eagles out to me, and to our neighbor across the lake, who has been watching them, too.

So glad to have you back. There was a hole in my life when you were gone.

Molly Bee said...

Coffee. Came. Out. My. Nose.

Alwen said...

I have wavy hair, so I was the little girl who was horrid, too.

Right now! I am watching a little gray eaglet that looks exactly like a sock puppet!

And that eaglet, dear friends, is why DDT needs to stay banned, bedbugs or no bedbugs. (They were showing resistance already when it was banned, so it's a moot point, really)

Jamwes said...

This post was... um... fun? :P