Monday, April 4, 2011

Things I've Learned....

...from watching teevee for roughly twelve hours a day, for roughly four months.

1.  That much teevee is against the Geneva Convention.  For something intended to be "entertainment", I suggest something like thumbscrews.  Brenks' Bridle.  THE RACK!!

2.  The New York SPCA officers have full police capabilities.  Which means that they can go to rescue a dog and arrest the wretched MFers who mistreated the dog.

3.  Houston has a lot of fighting cocks (eeeewww, they clip their crops and spurs to put razor-sharp long spurs on);  they also have a problem with pit bull dog fights.  BOTH are totally illegal - the Texas animal cops don't have police powers but they DO have a very intimate (so to speak) relationship with the local constabulary.  I have a streak that takes delicious satisfaction in watching the arrests of the MFers -- they're usually arrested right after the Civil Court hearing where their animals are legally transferred to the SPCA.  (I also like it when the MFers come to court to get their animals back, I mean THAT's cheeky!  "Yes, your honor, I was starving him because I only have a pony saddle and I wanted to ride him...."  OOOOHyeah.


4.  There are a LOT of starving horses in the Houston area - also goats, pigs, various fowl, miniature horses and an unending supply of dogs and cats.

5.  Animal HOARDING is a real problem everywhere, apparently  - and I've concluded that...
I AM AN ANIMAL HOARDER!  Well, ok, so I only have two cats.  But you know, I'm sort of a Theoretical Animal Hoarder.  (The truth is, as Mr. Dearling pointed out, if I bought ANYTHING in here -- kitty, puppy, boa constrictor --  Mistress Evangeline would dine upon them.  Her tolerance of Lilliane, all these years later, has remained terse.)  ...which reminds me, I have to go open the bedroom door...Lilli was put there in time-out for attacking Evi....seems she learning BAD behavior!

NOTE:  I AM aware that all the animal cop shows are showing the bad stuff...lovely healthy animals wouldn't make very good teevee.  I know the people in Houston are not meaner to their animals than anywhere else.  Probably.

Let's see - I have diagnosed myself with everything for which there are advertised medications available.  I quit wrriting them down to "ask my doctor for" after about 40.  Not only is there medication for depression - there are adjunct pills in case the ones you're using aren't enough.  WTH???    Of course, everything advertised causes moggles and rooblets and extra hair and hair loss and thoughts of suicide and murderous wrath and an incomprehensible desire to eat human brains.  No, wait - that's zombies, only four or nine medications list that one.

I've also been watching stuff like "First 48" in which real genuine scofflaws are apprehended for a huge variety of crimes, almost 99% of which are drug-related murders.  The idea is, the first three days after a Dreadful Crime is the best time to wrap it up.  Sometimes it takes more than a couple months, but that's ok, the nefarious and unruly are ultimately caught.

Then there's "House", which is an amazing fantasy - people come in to the hospital and Dr. House and his team perform elebenty-six tests, many of which are invasive or unpleasant, but eventually the diagnosis is made, the patient healed and all's right with the world.  Of course this all takes days and days -- and do they EV ER use the "i" word?  (Yes, "insurance") -- I think my favorite was the one where a beautiful mulatto girl was brought in with dreadful symptoms by her handsome white husband.  They were TRULY in love, a match made in heaven, only it turned out the match WAS made in heaven -- for some reason a DNA test was run (I think the husband was prepared to donate ALL his organs to save his cherished wife).  AND GUESS WOT???  Yup, they were half-siblings.  Seems White Papa had been "helping out in the garden" of his Black Neighbor.  OY VEY!!

OK, enough of the crappy news and on to something better:  namely ME, I'm better.  and tomorrow will be a red-letter day.  I get to vote (and I'd get three different disguises and vote again if I could) AND...readly for this?  My Neurology appointment (made in February) is tomorrow!!!  So far, the first muscle relaxer I got helps enough but I'm hoping for something that works a little better.  But (speaking with crossed fingers) I am gradually climbing out of the Abyss of No Knitting, No Writing &c &c and so forth.

By the way, to any and all who commented, THANK YOU!  I could say "I was so warmed...." or something.  The truth?  OK, I had a decent Ugly Cry over it all.   There isn't a cure or treatment equal to that.  Consider youselves hugged by a 4'11" woman with a case of hiccup-y cryin'.

9 comments:

kmkat said...

Oh, Dale-Harriet, you made my day! Welcome back to The Land Of The Living (And Knitting). I got an absentee ballot just so I could vote against Prosser ;-)

Kitty Mommy said...

Oh my dahlin' I am ablushin' furiously at your blue language. Well, just a bit, in between giggling about the rest. :D

Jamwes said...

Consider yourself hugged right back!

Alwen said...

I find that, too - that a good cry is not so pretty, what with the red puffy eyes and runny nose and all!

Anonymous said...

you might want to join the 21st century and realize the term "mulatto" is offensive and out dated....

CTJen said...

(((HUGS)))

Phebe said...

Welcome back Dale-Harriet--it's so nice to hear your voice again! All the best to you, I'm sure if you can remain cheerful and sane after four solid months of TV, you can handle anything.

Mary (Lovely Daughter) said...

Hey "Anonymous" - speaking as a Mulatto myself, I find the term accurate, and not offensive. What I find more offensive is the lack of said space for such on government forms, which force me to choose between white, or black, since they refuse to acknowledge anything that doesn't fit their pigeonholes. BTW: nice to see you back up your righteous indignation on my behalf with an actual name or something (/sarcasm). Sorry 'bout the soapbox, Mom...I'll climb down now.

trisha said...

I am biracial, and I much prefer that term, rather than mulatto.I understand that other biracial people may not feel the same as I do.